Onions and Garlic are banned

There are lot of girls been raped in the state of Uttar Pradesh (UP) India. The government over there is now taking lot of measures to stop it. One idea that was proposed was ban on porn, and possibly ban on any movie that shows women in sleazy way. That means it must ban all Hindi movies! John Abraham is worried that they will ban movies showing men in sleazy ways. Many other male actors who do look like women and use lot of makeup are getting DNA tests so that their movies won’t be banned on account of them been misunderstood for women.

Going further the state government is considering banning the sale of onions and garlic as it increases potents. Its ministry of silly decisions confirmed it in an exclusive call to me. Further they encouraged my idea of banning salt. “That should be implemented too” said the minister. Once done I will be regarded as genius, the saviour of the state and will get a MLA seat, my popularity will increase and my statue will match 1 to 1 with that of Mayawathi’s!

The ministry of silly decisions is also into thinking about the possibility of exodusing all women from the state to some other state ruled by its enemies. So that there will be no rape in UP and rapes in other states will go high making UP look like the good guy. There are plans to send all UP women to Pakistan. Alarmed with this danger, Pakistan has increased troops on vigil on its border. A mullah in Pakistan remarked, “we don’t have so many stones to stone and kill so many women coming from UP, it will be a disaster. There are so many people in India!”. He felt little comfortable after I said that many women here are killed in child birth.

In another twist Laksher-e-Taiba has asked huge amounts of money to outsource the process of smuggling women from UP into Pakistan. Many Indian I.T companies have seen a business opportunity and have contacted Lakshhar terrorist gang to offer IT solutions like call centre for human smugglers. Payment gateway where women can pay smuggler directly to get them into Pakistan. Military troop position indicating devices are few among the many solution that are marketed to terrorist. This has created lot of speculation in the stock markets and I.T shares have boomed. This will generate lot of employment said a HR manager of a top I.T company.

Any further news will be updated in blog.

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