I have always been against the LTTE, I have always favored war, it settles disputes. But then there was a boy from very good Tamil Srilankan family. He was driven to Chennai by war there, and wanted to get trained in basic computers from me. He was a refugee, a product of India’s mismanagement of Srilankan affairs, and I said to him I’d like no fee from him, yet he pushed money into my hands. To be paid money by the very people I have killed by funding my nation with tax is…. what to say? I should have been hanged by rope for me not intervening with merciless manslaughter, both by the Tamils and Sinhalese. Do I really have dignity? Bravery to question injustice? Fools they are, fools like India and Pakistan, fools like a Mohamedian and a Jew. Never ever can they get the essence of humanity.
But I did support the war at that time and asked him what really happened there, I never expected to see what I saw. His eyes turned to something, tears started to build up. This is not bullying tears of your girl friend or some woman in your relative who do emotional blackmail, they were the eyes of some one who has seen unmatched horror and he choked, he couldn’t speak. I thought I will never see those eyes again. When I was in Guindy, working, I saw the same kind of thing in the eyes of a watchman who claimed that he was bullied by cops. This led me to write a blog because of which I face legal troubles to this day.
There is some thing deep in humans which other humans can understand, some thing to know that other man is truly suffering. And that when seen will change history. I always wondered what King Ashoka saw in Kalinga that made him change his mind. Now probably I know what. Now I hate wars too. I have stopped glorifying it. On Nov 11 when they asked me to stay a minute of silence for people who lost life’s in war, I protested. Wars are started by rich men and powerful ,why should we ordinary men and women suffer?
There is other side of the coin too. We humans realize that we are in no position to put other humans into injustice, but we exploit animals and plants to the hilt. I have eaten the eyes of goat, ate head of a fish now and then, failing to realize that it too was life that would have suffered to die. We humans kill millions of seeds and life stock every day, denying the right of their existence. If I were God, no matter what sin man did I wouldn’t have created such a messy universe and human race. I would have been smart enough not to put forbidden apple in the first place.
What a fucking stupid God is? Can’t he just reverse time and correct everything, make everything not to exist? Why any thing must exist? Why the heck are you reading my blog?